GeminiJune

Whatever! I dun give a damn if anybody would ever insult about my ‘weepy’ sides.. cos thts wht and how I am. 

Weepy-Syndrome is attacking me these recent year. Maybe cause of the anti-biotics i took while I suffer from my sinus last year. As long as I remember, after the medication I gotten more and more sensitive, emotional, very loose of emotion-control. Moreover there some and mostly happening is bad-sad times these past 1 year, well not all were bad, but not most are happy either. Life need a balance.

Some people just get lucky to describe their life as; ” too perfect to describe” or ” living life to the fullest, so I’m not regreting if I have to die tomorrow” , etc.

I wish ..I can have one of those quotes at my life right now, yes… in any circumtances.. I ‘stamp’ my current moment are ” in deep shit!”  doesnt mean all are bad, it’s just the phase of the boredom tht never ends.. still stay in the static area, constantly, even the graphic goes straight and curve down. 

Weeping? Yes, hell it’s not a proud thing to do… weep it’s just an emotional expression that cannot describe by words.

Envy:

Major-envy is almost being part of my personality. Envy of other ppls happiness,even tho i know how deep the pain/shit they’re been thru before or in the same phase as their happiness are. 

Clock is ticking, knowing nor of them will coming backagain, and knowing there’re none of character line tht will be in the next wrinkle if am not gonna to do something with my constant static—tht might goin down curve—life. 

-character line : a part of the wrinkle that people have, wht they’re been thru that shaped them to be what they are today, how tough the strom and the hurricane they’ve been thru. without we knowing they’re made it thru or not, but they been there. 

Now it’s… either to start get my own empty pages, and start to write down on my own languages, my own phrases, my own words, my own dynamics (scratch) writings.. Or just leave it  all the thoughts behind to the dreams that may not gonna happend, and follow the flow , stay in the comfy-damn-boring-deadly-zone forever til meet to the next life ?

22/09/2010 (23.30)

~JJ

if you grow up in 80-90’s gotta recognize this old time child animation series.. 

I was bored and have been long time haven’t practicing my make-up stuff.. once I’ve been thinking to look up and try to paint my face become these animation character. 

well.. not too shabby. and it’s a rad. dunno wht u’ve been thinking. 

I not change the hair color, cos  i think it’s better this way. look unique. :p

Asian-Cheetara 

always can drop a comment here :) 

Once a friend of mine wrote some words in her social-working site.. it’s something morelike ” Someone used to be a bestfriends,but now act like strangers” no name were mentioned.

Well, directly or not, i felt “poked”. Bcos..we’re bestfriends, knowin’ each other since we’re like 11 or something. Just things crossed my mind, it is shamed have to be that way. I am human not perfect one, here I not trying fully defending myself.. but I don’t want wrecked all things too. Well, I did the stuff that do taking  the distant, cos of several behaviour that had been appeared, and I no longer can give any tollerance, and can take it any longer for the un-smartass act.

Things are/were actually simple to solved, but why make it hard to face anyway ? Problem are not the main important thing to fight for, moreover.. I don’t even give a damn about tht “main-problem” stuff. Since I no longer can take the effects of the act my (best)friend did. So I “screamed” out loud.. about wht the hell is happening here. Everytime, she felt things she doesn’t like, even the stuff were really misunderstood, she kept it low-key but act out some hell-out-of-unacceptable behaviour that all of her life she’s been doin all time, and I think even until now. I runnin’ out of tollerance and patience about the behaviour, not to say I can’t do tht either, but not as much as that.

Things I found in her problem is, she cannot solve and behave better to runnin out of the heck situation. I asked, what do she wanted to fix the situation, but no answered I got, she doesn’t sure herself. So, I decided to take an action that it’s “to take a distant from the friendship”. Since that we’re no longer hang out so much. Moreover, she also broke-up from a best-friend that cause of those behaviour.

So, cause of her shout-out at her wall.. not long after that, I called her by messenger and ask her  how is she and life stuff, and whether whats was happening,etc. And then she began to spilled out one to another. About why she wrote about the shout-out. We’re argued for awhile. I didn’t found where is my mistake, and she didn’t found my mistake either.

It’s not that I never say-hi or stuff before that, I did and asking everythings. But she found that un-acceptable. Can’t compare to her, most times she only call when she needed or asking somethings, less to stop by and “say-hi”. 

I deplored this situation. Even after the argued and she spilled-out abt the situation, still doesn’t change the situation she wanted. She still acted the distant, even I’ve told her “I’m always here, whenever she needed..eventhough am not always in good condition.. I will listen to her. ” Even that doesn’t change the situation. It’s hard to gathered the glass has been cracked into pieces, situation is breaking my heart, but I tried not to look-deep into the bad days. Forgiving and startin over again it’s the bet. But not all ppl can do same stuff.. 

So when u felt something different happend with your friend, and they’re keep a distant from you, gotta be something worng with yourselves.. start to look inside you, evaluate and talk to them, ask wht-the-heck is happening. Never stay silent if you want the Friend-ship is working out. Mostly Human cannot read-minds, spill out even u’re end-up fighting, but all clear what about.